Lesson #1: How to Properly Lie

 I love driving. Getting your driver's license is, in my opinion, the best thing that a teenager can receive. You no longer have to nag your parents to take you to your friend's house. You no longer have to wait for your parents to drive you to track practice. You no longer have to ask your parents to pick you up at midnight from a friend's house. 

Driving as a teen is something else. You're young, wild, and free. You think that nothing can stop you. You hop in the car, set aux, roll the windows down, and go. I don't think about the consequences of speeding down Curtis at night or damaging the longevity of my car through my inefficient braking. Mind you, I'm a good driver. If you are my passenger, I promise you that you will reach your destination safely, whether I'm driving safely or not. 

However, recently, I've damaged the car twice in a span of two-three weeks. The first incident was at night with my friends where I drove into a ditch out in the country while in the process of doing a "one-point" turn. The ditch hammered the bumper of my car, and my parents had to tape it up after I got lectured about how I always drive like I have multiple lives. I understood their reasoning, so I took the heat with a straight face. Mind you that they think that I drove "into the wall of the parking garage". They were cool after a while, and everything went well.

 The second, however, was even more stupid. I felt a bit too young, so I decided to jump on top of my car and JUMP on the sunroof of my car. Not only did I dent the car, but I mechanically broke the sunroof. The dent also dented the sunroof as it was sunken into the car. I immediately regretted this, but I said to myself that I would worry about it after the night was over. 

The following days, I realized that the sunroof was cucked. The sunroof would not open properly. Everything I would push the open button, the sunroof would make weird whirring sounds after moving unusually. This was pretty bad, not because the sunroof was broken. I loved my sunroof, because it would be the first thing I would open when I get in my car. The more important thing I was worried about was how I would explain to my parents on what the hell happened. 

A few days after, my parents found out. My parents were disappointed, which I completely understood. I just damaged the car twice in a span of less than a month. They asked how did it happen.

"A walnut from a tree must've hit the top of my car once my friends and I came back from the Haunted House..."

"Show me which tree then" my father said.

I immediately realized that I was done for. However, I've been in worse situations. I figured out another, a more believable excuse, that would alleviate the situation. However, if there is one thing you should know, you need to properly time your excuses. In order to make your excuses sound believable, you need to psychologically evaluate the people you are trying to persuade. You need to sound calm, genuine, confident but not alarming.

 After having a bit of a conversation with my parents (and driving the conversation in a direction I wanted to go in), it eventually came to the point where my father asked me to think about all the things I've done the past week. My parents did not believe that a walnut could dent the car in such a way.

After selling my genuineness and thoughtfulness, I told him that that I threw a basketball in the air to my friend at Kenny Gym. Now that doesn't sound that believable right. But that's not the idea. The idea is shifting the blame from the tree to me while skipping the whole "investigation" part. My parents didn't even question the legitimacy of the excuse, but they just talked to me about my driving. I played along with it, because deep down I knew that I won at the end of the day. After being grounded for a bit, everything went back to normal. The sunroof, although still broken, doesn't affect the driving experience at all.